Fiction Reviews
Cursed Under London
(2024) Gabby Hutchinson Crouch, Farrago, £14.99, hrdbk, 255pp, ISBN 978-1-788-42503-2
Here we go, another addition to that sub-genre of Fantastic London which is probably best known for including the Rivers of London series of novels, novellas and comics by Ben Aaranovitch; although I think this offering reminds me more of China Mieville’s Un Lun Dun given it’s distinctive split between two very different Londons, and also Terry Pratchett as this is a humorous romcom fantasy novel. Here, Gabby Hutchinson Crouch, gives us Upper London, which is pretty normal-ish, and Deep London, where most of the strange stuff happens, and all the strange people, and not so-people, like fairies and vampire and zombies, live.
The clue, I suppose is in the title – Cursed Under London, because this novel starts with the two main characters finding themselves under a curse. Crouch gives us Fang, who is on the run, but his running stops when he is beaten to death, except he doesn’t quite die. He comes back to a sort of life, but is changed, and somehow he has the power to create illusions, but he doesn’t want this new life, and would rather be dead for good, and would like to find a way to end this curse. That is until he meets Lazare de Quitte-Beuf, an unsuccessful French actor who has also been beaten to death – maybe that’s the problem, rule one: don’t get beaten to death. Like, Fang, Lazare comes back to life, changed. This time he has vampire wings, but isn’t a vampire. Why have they been changed, and can they be unchanged? The only thing to do is to descend to Deep London in the company of Fang’s friend, Nell, a Welsh apothecary, and Amber, a small dragon. Thus, we have a quest, and a fellowship to undertake it, slightly complicated because of the fact that Fang and Lazare are like chalk and cheese in their disposition and outlook, and even more complicated because it is a case of lust at first sight. If those weren’t complications enough, they soon find themselves embroiled in events which seem to suggest that a dastardly plot is unfolding and it might be up this unlikely band to stop it.
But wait a minute, I have forgotten to say that this novel is not set in the present, it is in fact set in Elizabethan London, but as you have already guessed not any Elizabethan London you might know. Given this setting we have appearances from William Shakespeare and Christopher Marlowe, even Queen Elizabeth turns up, which is Crouch giving a nod to her setting, in terms of time and place, but really that’s all it seems to be, a nod. Crouch is very good with the wise-cracks and the one liners, and very clever at adding things like a swan police force, and a distinction between her two Londons in terms of how the two sides live, and die, and live again, and where Elizabethan London, and England sits in her world. My problem is that placing some well-known Elizabethans into the mix doesn’t create that much of a setting. Obviously, Crouch doesn’t adopt ye olde English speak, but modern speech and terms and slang – I think - does knock this reader out of the story as does the queer romance – not that I have anything against queer romances – real or otherwise, but Crouch makes this the norm in her world, something I think might not have been true of the period.
Crouch is known as a novelist, penning the skewed fairy tale series, 'Darkwood' and also 'The Rooks' series about some ghost hunters. She is also a comedy script writer, and some of her comedy friends have been quick to offer a quote for the cover, but I wonder how much they know about fantasy novels and funny fantasy novels? I found Cursed Under London to be very clever, with nice touches, but it could have been set anywhere, and for me, it wasn’t laugh-out-loud funny. It made me smile with its banter and farce-like silliness, but that was as far as it went, and the pacing was a bit uneven in places even though Crouch has sprinkled the plot with dollops of sex and violence and action and adventure. If I was to award points, this would be a 3 out of 5 job, and while Cursed Under London is set up for a sequel, I fear Fang and Lazare will just have to continue without me. Fangs for the memories, guys.
Ian Hunter
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